4 proven ways to optimise your life for lasting happiness

About 8 years ago I went through a quarter-life crisis.

I was stuck in a huge rut.

I hated my job.

I didn't know what I wanted to be when I “grew up”.

And my only experience with online business was the fact that ASOS delivered to my house about once a week.

I didn't have any motivating career or professional goals (yet).

And I had no clue as to what my next move was (which was not a great feeling at all).

However, amidst that ‘woe is me’ period I had a moment of clarity. An ‘aha’ moment if you will. I decided that since I didn't know what I wanted to do with my career, I would have to focus on what I wanted my lifestyle to look like instead.

And that was significantly easier to figure out.

I knew I wanted to optimize my life for happiness. And my goal was simple — to wake up and go to sleep happy, every day.

Now to clarify, I didn’t expect to never experience unhappiness. But I did expect to find the answers to be able to purposefully boost the feelings of satisfaction, contentment, and fulfillment I felt throughout my day.

Three kinds of happiness

Predictably, happiness looks different for everyone.

But arguably, if something promotes a positive emotion for you, it’s likely a good indication that it makes you happy (and you should try and do more of that thing.)

And as Martin Seligman notes in his book Authentic Happiness, positive emotion can be about the past, present, and future.

Here’s a look at the positive emotions that represent each period:

To optimize for happiness — the activities, habits, and practices that promote more positive emotions — are what we want to include in our lives as often as possible.

And to do that, you need to know what those things are.

It’s a helluva start, being able to recognize what makes you happy. — Lucille Ball

4 ways to optimize your life for daily happiness

Over the years I have had a lot of fun experimenting with my list of happiness habits.

However, four things stand out as being the foundation of what drives the most positive emotion for me.

And I wanted to share them with you.

1. Choosing time and freedom over money

In 2012 I decided I wanted to live a more fulfilling life and therefore needed to fix the thing that was the biggest drain on my happiness — my soul-crushing corporate job.

So I made the decision to go part-time. I presented the offer to my work, negotiated the terms, and was able to drop to thirty hours a week.

In that single moment, I felt I took control of my life.

I said NO to money and YES to time; time to work on me and my dreams and spend more time with the ones I loved.

Now, rather than working every day from 9-5, I worked 9-3.

I had an extra two hours to do with what I pleased (which came in handy when I decided to pursue my business dreams). I also learned to work smarter in my role and exceeded expectations as a part-time employee in a full-time role.

But most importantly, that one decision changed the course of my life forever.

When you value time over money, you create more freedom.

What is one way you could optimize your life right now, that could lead to more time and freedom later on?

2. Create more love in your life and surround yourself with good people

Great relationships and a strong support system can make or break you (especially in business).

Love and acceptance have the power to help you achieve great things and the right people in your corner can make all the difference.

I have been with my husband for over 12 years now and he’s undoubtedly the best friend I have ever had.

We hold similar values, we are both ambitious and we have undying love and support for each other. He has helped me build a foundation of happiness, love, and self-worth (which can be incredibly powerful propellers for a new career direction).

Every day we make time to talk about our goals, our work, and our progress. We also make time to just veg out in front of the TV, eat good food and play with our dog (and now our kid!).

If our routines ever have to change, then we always make sure we know when our time together will be. It’s something that guides many of the decisions we make and the opportunities we choose to pursue.

Even since having our baby boy, despite the trials and difficulties that can bring — we’ve made sure to keep those daily connections alive. As they’re what fuel our relationship and make it stronger.

Who is someone in your life that you want to develop a deeper relationship with?

What can you do daily that could build that relationship and make it stronger?
How can you create more love in your life so you can be happier?

(On the other hand, perhaps you need to remove a toxic person from your life. Stamping out bad relationships is just as important as deepening good ones.)

3. Develop a driving vision and purpose

I was miserable in a 9-5 job for a very long time. It was the only part of my life that caused distress and unhappiness. But it leeched into other areas as a result.

I felt I lacked purpose and direction and desperately needed a way out.

I needed to start doing something that ignited a passion in me. Or at least — allowed me to exercise my strengths and feel more accomplished.

That something ended up being online business and entrepreneurship.

It combined my love of personal development and growth, with my love of being in control and in charge. And gave me the creative outlet I craved from a career — writing.

It was the answer to taking everything to the next level and I wanted to be seriously successful.

When I got the business bug in early 2014, I immediately consumed everything I could about how to build a business myself. And started putting things into practice as soon as possible.

The knowledge and experience that I gained resulted in my exit from my 9-5 job in 2016 and set me on a path that changed my career trajectory forever.

There have been many bumps and failures along the way (and I know there will be more) but having the opportunity to work on something I created myself, every day, makes me extremely happy.

Finding that purpose empowered me to take the risk and feel confident in my own value and ability.

What is guiding your journey?
What is the purpose driving you towards your goals?
What lights the fire that keeps you going even when times get tough?
What makes you happy simply by working on it?

4. Get a companion for life.

This one may seem silly to you but getting my own dog is something I have wanted to do since I was a young girl.

We had pets growing up and I loved them dearly, but they were not my sole responsibility (that’s what Mums are for, duh).

But I always knew that someday I would have my own and that it would make me deliriously happy.

If I had a puppy it would put my natural mothering instincts to work and it would provide a source of companionship that is unrivaled in this world!

For years I put off pet ownership because I didn’t want to leave my pup at home for 8-9 hours during the day while I had to work.

But when I went part-time at my corporate gig, I was finally okay with it. Between my Husband’s hours and my own, our dog wouldn't be left alone for more than 6 hours every day and most days it was less.

By creating more time and freedom with my part-time decision, I was able to say yes to fulfilling a childhood dream (which, I can confidently confirm, has created an evergreen drip of daily happiness).

You might not have the same feelings about pets as I do, so it isn't a driving force for your own happiness, but there might be something else that generates that same feeling of elation.

Is there something you want but can’t have because you don’t have the time or freedom?

A goal worth working towards

I think daily happiness is a goal that everyone should share.

It feeds into every facet of your life.

It makes you a better wife. A better mother. A better friend. A better sister. A better colleague. A better boss.

A better human.

So think about what makes you happy.

What sparks the positive emotions we talked about earlier? What puts a smile on your face? What makes you feel accomplished?

Is it better health?
Is it being more productive?
Is it love?
Is it companionship?
Is it freedom?
Is it creative work?

Now think about all the things you could do to invite more of that happiness into your life.

Take 20 minutes to list all your ideas (good and bad).

Then if you’re ready to make some positive and lasting changes, choose one of them and take the first step.